As your birthday approaches…

 

Dear Baby C,

As I sit here tonight, and prep for your 1^st birthday celebrations, I am overwhelmed with raw emotions. Yes I’m happy, don’t get me wrong, but I’m also sad. I’m sad and heartbroken, and in awe of your birth mom.

I am sad for your birth mom.

I’m sad because she doesn’t get to tell you “Happy 1st Birthday Baby Girl”! I’m sad because she won’t get to see your pretty birthday dress or your sparkly birthday bow.

I am heartbroken because tomorrow, 365 days ago, an unbreakable bond connected 2 people, you and your birth mom. Please know Pretty Girl that I can’t, and won’t ever fill that space, but I want you to know how much your mommy loved you. Your mom gave you the best birthday gift, she gave you the gift of us as your forever family!

Sweet C I am in awe of your mom because she had to be so tremendously strong to make the choice she made. She set aside her emotions, and dreams, and her worth, and cared more about you, and your future, than choosing to watch you grow up. My sweet darling daughter, God knit you together in your mother’s womb, but he stitched you together in my heart. Our God is full of wonder and immense love, and as will I, He will always stand by your side.

Tomorrow we celebrate the 1st of many birthdays for you, little girl and I will cry. I will cry tears of ultimate happiness and joy, because God chose us to be your forever family. Your mama gave you life, and in God’s plan He made you our’s, and for that reason I will weep tears of sorrow and pain.

So for now, I smile. I smile through my tears for your birth mom, and I smile through my tears of your forever mom because tomorrow my baby, you are one, and our family gets to celebrate your very special birthday.

Happy 1^st Birthday my sweet little girl!

Mommy loves you so much!

 

(Anna Saunders

Foster/ Adopt/ Bio Mom

FB: Anna Saunders and Instagram: MB_PBandtheircubs)