An open letter to the biological mom of my adopted daughter:

 

Dear Elisha,

It’s been a long time since I have heard from you and I hope you are doing well. I know your addiction still has a strong hold on you and how difficult that has made life for you. Our daughter is doing great- she is right in the middle of that butt-head teenager phase but her heart shines through. I know she will grow up to be a strong, kind woman. It has also been a great joy in my life to get to know your other children through their connection to Silencia. You have made some incredible young adults.

This Mother’s Day, I want you to know we always speak of you kindly. We talk about how bad choices do not make someone a bad person. Addiction is an ugly thing that takes control of the person you love and makes it so incredibly hard for them to make good choices. We all hope that you can find a path that leads you out of your addiction some day. I wish and hope for future holidays and BBQs where you are as much a fixture as any other family member.

I know having parental rights severed doesn’t stop a mother’s love and I want to assure you that it doesn’t stop a child’s either. Silencia misses you in her life. I will forever be in debt to you as a mother because without you being her mother first- I wouldn’t have this goober for a daughter. Thank you for being a part of this complicated motherhood. I know it makes this holiday bittersweet and I hope this letter makes it a little less bitter.

Sincerely,

Dina