Fostering Feels Normal

We didn’t become foster parents because we felt called to do it. We didn’t become foster parents because we felt like we are amazingly kind people who have loads of love to give. Honestly, we get overwhelmed with our own kids sometimes. The thought of taking on one more, especially one with a history of trauma, is sometimes terrifying.

We became foster parents because we couldn’t ignore what we know. We know there’s a need and we know we’ve been blessed with lots of love and support and we felt like we were in a good position to help. So we did.

We decided to take in a teenage boy and we chose an agency that we knew could support us in that and make it work for our family. We had the opportunity to meet our foster son before he moved in and then transition him out of a group home. Before that first meeting he sent us a short letter to tell us about himself and ask a few questions. The first question he asked was if he could call us Mom and Dad.

I like to think any reasonable person being asked that question would say yes. If anyone were faced with a child looking for a home—wouldn’t you open your’s?

It’s been two months since he’s been in our home. We have found our personal capacity to love has no limit. He’s funny. He’s clever. He’s smarter than he knows. He enjoys spending time with me (which is really fun.) He also puts up with being a human punching bag for his two younger sisters (who totally adore him.) Yes he eats a crazy amount of cereal and his room is a mess but that’s ok.

We are not perfect parents. We did not become super heroes when we became licensed to foster. We are adjusting every day and so is he. Now when people ask us how it feels I’m not sure how to respond. Our life is filled with extra appointments, more schoolwork and sometimes a parenting issue we’ve never experienced before but at the same time—it feels just like raising our own kids. It just feels normal.

Allison Hurtado

Foster Mom


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