Question: When should I start the conversations with my child about being adopted?

From everything that I have read and from my personal experiences, I have come to the conclusion that it is never too early to bring adoption into the conversation. I have an adopted sister and my parents never talked about it. I remember the first time I learned she was adopted and it has stayed as a negative memory; not because she was adopted-love and family runs much deeper than that- but because I did not understand why it was kept as a secret from me.


We have made the decision to openly talk about our kids being adopted as it fits the conversation. All my kids who are old enough to understand know that there are some that came from my tummy and some that came from their birth mom’s tummy, but all hold equal pieces of my heart. I want them to know from the beginning that there is no shame in their story. I want them to feel that they are fully accepted as my child and never experience that feeling I did so many years ago. And, the older they get, the more of their story we will share with them. One thing our agency said that I fully believe is their story is their story. It is not for me to tell to others outside our family. It is theirs to share as they choose. It is my job to help them see through my eyes the beauty that has come from the pain and the gift of who they are.

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